So I was doing spectacular!
. . .  until today

Nathan wanted almond banana pancakes. So I made them and thinking it would be like our normal pancakes/waffles with some banana. No biggie. Well, it was actually 2 bananas for 2 tlbs of almond butter. Didn't really think much of it, and kept going.

When I typed it into MyDailyPlate I almost freaked out: there's 27 carbs in ONE! OMG that means 54 in 2!!! So basically, half of my day's carbs were found in a fruit I don't even like! Such a bummer. Needless to say, I feel at 109 today. :(

Lessons learned? I'm hoping that doesn't happen again. . .

Ok, it's been 3 days and my carb counts have been 39, 52, and 47, respectively.

So far, it's been pretty easy. Actually, not bad at all. So what's the deal?

Why was a dreading this so much? Why did I think I was going to be so hungry and unhappy all the time?

Just in quick thinking, I've grabbed two reasons:
- emotional eating: I'm sad/upset/happy/breathing lol jk on the last one
- mindless eating: i.e. eating out of boredum or because foods there/the time of day.

I'm trying to only eat when I'm hungry, and stop when I'm full.

Stopping when I'm fully has always been really hard cause I LOVE the way food tastes. But I've noticed that, as simple as it sounds, when I only have so much in front of me it makes it easier. Then, it's a light snack instead of thinking about the yummy left overs on the stove.

I serious don't feel restricted right now. Minus the sweets, but hopefully that too will lessen. I'm actually supposed to be in a 50-100 range so I guess I better eat a little bit more per day. Once I start waking up at 7 I think that'll start happening cause they'll be more day in my day.

Basically, I'm happy, but more so. . . relieved. It feels so good that this is turning out to be easy :)

Yay!

I was listening to Revive Our Hearts today and Bob Lapine was talking about Food, Beauty and Control.

I'm glad I did so early because it reminded me about control, idols, and worldiness.

Wanting to be in shape and eat right is a good thing. I truly believe God honors that. I believe He wants us to take care of ourselves. The trap comes in when we make it our focus, our obsession, our god.

He's jealous. And I love that about Him. I love that I'm so important to Him that He wants all of my attention and nothing to come before Him.

So Jesus, as I begin this process of trying to eat primally, exercise and take better care of myself, I pray that you keep my heart and my motives in check. Help it to be a pleasing fragrance to You and cultivate an inner beauty as much or more as outer beauty. Inner beauty is eternal and I want to be a woman who fears the Lord. Be my focus, Lord Jesus. Keep my eyes on You and help me to glorify Your Name in my weight loss journey.

P.S. The only time outer beauty is commendable in the Bible is Song of Songs when it talks about how the woman is pleasing and attractive to her husband :)

Today was awesome! Nate and I took a hike in 32 degree weather ; )

Not the best conditions and Nate's feet got really wet and cold in his 5 fingers, but overall we both loved it. And going in my coat and gloves around the top perimeter wasn't too bad. At first, we went on the normal trail but it was totally soaked. We were about to head back to the car but saw a different trail and decided to see where it would take us. Especially since I wanted to take a picture from the look out (I took one in summer, and in fall so I wanted winter too :D)

It was awesome because:
1. we were active
2. we were together
3. we got to talk to each other and spend time together
4. the scenery and fresh air was really good for Nate who's always stuck in his office and me too :)
5. it was fun

Also, I figure that if we can find a way to enjoy it in even the worst conditions, it'll be easier to do it on nicer as well :)

Nate just took my measurements and my "fat" pictures. It was very depressing.

It's not that I don't look at myself or now how I look, it's just the awareness that it really is THAT bad. Nate kept telling me I was beautiful the whole time, but it wasn't hitting home in that moment.

Gag. O well, maybe this is what I was missing all the other times I tried to loose weight. Cold Hard Evidence of what I've done to my body.

Those pics are goin' on the fridge! But coming down when people come over ; D

*Sigh*

I wrote all them down on my PFA packet, so I'll check them again in a month. and the scale in two weeks.
I keep trying to think of the best "Start date" for success but all of today I've been wondering . . . why not now? Christmas won't be that bad and I'll make it through New Years and my nephew's b-day. My sister's baby shower and my birthday right? Oy, let's hope. At least then I'll know that if I can make it through the up-coming month I can make it through anything right? And all the cheating on less "yummy" food will make holding out on the holidays less worth it. True.

So I think my hearts in it. It's at least wanting to try.

Today Nate and I when to the movies :D In all honesty we got a small of popcorn which tasted great, but I keep feeling acidy in my throat :( So Not sure it was worth it.

Ok, well I had some chicken, 3 meat pops (these amazing things from ACME that have 10 gs of fat and 1 of Carbs) the popcorn, then a piece of lasana and a salad. O plus a little bit of dried cranberries. And I've been craving water all day. :) Not too bad!

I think the best thing is not buy ice cream. For the past 6 months we've had it in the house . . . and I've eaten it. I would tell myself that it wouldn't hurt anything, but I think that's why I've gone over my highest weight: I ate it whenever I wanted to. I'll never give it up completely, but it not being in the house makes it easier to not eat everyday. So I not going to buy it anymore. If we want something sometime when we're out, fine. But as far as it being a Reid family favorite, . . . not so much.

Also . . . Nate and I figured out my BMR and made a basic exercise plan for me :) I'm going to have to make it detailed every Sunday night to make it work for that week, but I really like that because I thrive on structure, not flexibility.

Then, we did a trial run of all the excersies so I could get them in my head.
It went something like this:
Jumping Jacks to warm up
Push Ups: 2 reps of 12. I broke for a few seconds after 4 each time, and after 12 for a min and 1/2ish
Squats: After Nate helped me with my form, it was as much as I could do: like 13 and in the future, I'd repeat after resting but it took forever to get my form down and I was sick of it by then.
Then we worked on burpees . . . I got like maybe a .7 of one done . . . those things are no joke!
Finally, I did left side plank, right side plank. Full plank. left side, right side again.
Then my Chiro excersiese.

Ok, honestly, I thought that my back was going to be killing me, but it turns out, it felt GREAT. Like totally pain free. Which is craZy because this morning after waking up, I barely made it to the bathroom. I looked crippled from the pain. But I'm icing right now just as a precaution. I'm hoping that getting some weight off will help my back as well. :)

So over all, I loved doing it with Nate though I get very testy, he took it well. (He kept trying to kiss me each time I came up from a crunch! Get out of here!!) lol I love him. Anyway, I always think I don't want "waste time" on exercising or I "just want to rest" but in all honesty, it didn't take that long and I'm sure it'll get shorter once I know what I'm doing. Plus, what was that time for me anyway? Scrolling up and down my facebook homepage that hasn't changed at all or mindlessly watching something on the internet? And as far as wanting to just rest, even though I feel good in a happy short of way, the fact that my back feels better is reward enough. So we'll have to see if that continues!!

Ok, I'm giving myself time to adjust to the idea of a PB lifestyle. When I start, I want to dive in, but I'd rather it be a plunge than a belly-flop so I'm trying to acknowledge the small things in my daily life that will make a big difference once I start: i.e. limiting surprises.

So today for instance, I didn't eat breakfast and waited till after my workout to eat lunch (a few bites of my stew from home before tutoring - I was definitely hungry at this point, and I didn't finish it. Which makes me think that maybe that's all you really need. And that "comfy stuffed" point I'm so used to, really isn't nessasarry to keep me full -- I still haven't finished the rest which I planned on eating right when I got home). Dinner was one piece of Lasana and a salad made of spinach, romaine, and leek. That's a lot less than I'm used to eating and I seriously don't feel hungry, weird, but I hope this continues!

The Good: Ok, I talked my friend Alan into walking with me. I was planning on the tred, but he wanted the walk-around which was no problem. I bought a lock for a locker (felt so official) and we worked it out. We walked for 40, even though I wanted to stop at 30. Not that I didn't like it, but my back and left knee were starting to bug me.
This is awesome for 2 reasons:
1. It's finals week and I can't believe I actually did it. Serious, I could totally excuse myself by figuring that I should calculate my final grades instead, but I was getting stressed about the final outcomes and decided that I needed to walk to clear my head. Alan coming along was a total plus :) On days when I am alone, I'll have to remember to bring my Zune and talk to Jesus <3
2. As I mentioned before, it's finals week. But I figured that my final ended at 12 and since that's the exact time I'll get out of school on MTWT, today would be a good way to see what it might look like to stay after and be committed. I know it was small, but I guess what I'm saying is that I know this is going to be a huge head game for me: getting myself there is way harder than whatever I have planned once it's time to start. So hopefully, I can just go and not talk myself out of it.

The bad!
I totally ate a cupcake! I almost turned it down like Jessica did (who also made a resolve yesterday) but I didn't! Seriously, I had 7 little faces all eating them a Good News Club and it was too much to say no! Actually, it really wasn't. I could have said no just like Jessica did. I'm not going to beat myself up but I will remind myself of this moment in the future and try to say no next time.

So that was my day. I also read some more success stories- *Sigh* It's all I was fat, now skinny. Which is great, but they never show the blood sweat and tears that it takes to get there! O well